this time last year

this time last year i was celebrating because my little sister was about to turn 18, i had a huge birthday celebration planned. i had bought her the most amazing present, which i had to layby for almost three months. I had just been to taras party and had picked even before she knew that she was pregnant, and i also was in the process of moving to dog swamp and looking for a house. i didn;t have a car or my license, i had blue... god bless his soul and trev was living with us.

this year, i have a house, a car, a license, two beautiful dogs and a budgie named chip. gareth hasn;t changed and neither has our relationship. (sigh)i have nothing planned for sarah's bday, it will be good enough i just see her, hmmm... since then i have been to dogswamp, quit, worked at shiels, quit, been at morley woolworths and now i am slumming it at dianella. I have lost some close friends, some friends have become even closer. i have made some new friends. I have learnt a lot. but most importantly i sat down and watched 5 seasons of scrubs. thats a lot to achieve in one year, i feel older but definately more alone. Efi and Fluff and Blue died. Three really important pets in my life, they all taught me to love unconditionally and i loved and still love them more than anything. There is still plenty of stuff to achieve in the future, but i must say, this year has been awful busy, mixed up and rewarding at the same time. thanks to those who stood by me, and yes thanks to those who didn't, you taught me some good lessons. Thomas, i love you more every day. know that, because no one sticks by me like you.

Have a good year every body

promised i'd add a new blog

Hey Gary, here is your post.
Well a lot has happened lately. I work back at woolies now in morley and am rather enjoying it. My parents dogs have both passed away this week so that hass been rather heartbreaking. and i have learnt who my real friends are. an important lesson i will never forget, what i want to talk about here is unrequited love. Not the kind between a man and a woman, but the type between friends. I had a best friend. She had been my friend for many many years and there was not one person i would put before her, I had been with her through so much and she had been with me through it all too. I thought she felt the same way about me. Turns out she doesn't and i am really hurt. Hurt because i feel like a total idiot. i totally over estimated how she felt about our friendship and i got burned really bad. I feel like i never want to see this person again. But i know thats stupid, it's going to take me a while to get over it but. She has just been a part of my life for so long. I hate that people grow apart and move on. and i hate that people change. I'm having a real hard time letting go of my friends from high school. because thats what it looks like im going to have to do.

Anyways off that sad topic. The other day it was my older sisters birthday. She turned 25 on the 25th of may. So happy birthday Angela. I just wanted to let her know that it was an absolute pleasure helping her out and wanted her to know if she ever needs help she just needs to ask. (i know you read this angie)


Also i got a new puppy, his name is charlie brown and he is by far the cutest puppy ever (bar chase of course) I am a bit smitten with my new baby,

anyways, im off to snooze for a bit before i go to work so hop[efully ill remember to post soon.

Pamela

What have i got to lose?

Well, its been a while. And a lot has happened.
I quit a job, found a new one got bored of the new one and went back to the old one just on a lot more pay. I got my license. I'm quitting Dome finally. And joining weight watchers. I have been thinking a lot lately (you do that when you have a boring job) and i have made some pretty massive decisions. I have realised i am not too happy with the hoe hum drum of life, and if im not happy than its something i have to change, I asked myself what makes me unhappy in my life. Well for starters, i am sick of being walked all over, i am not a doormat. I have feelings. So many of my friends seem to forget this, I do not hang out with people so they can treat me badly. We are all equals.I have decided not to take any more of it. So if i stop talking to you. Well you know why. I am so sick of the false pretenses behind some of the friendships i have upheld for years. I am also sick of bitching. pointless bitching. Stop being Chumpy. Stop Whinging, think of the good things in life. Lets talk about achievements and futures... not about who did what and where. It's stupid. Also i am sick of not being in control of my life. Thats why it is awesome having my license. I am going to start standing up for myself. No more being walked all over, especially at home. It's time to start taking pride in what i own. So firstly the dog goes outside. If she is not outside in a week, than i will be getting rid of her. It is too much to deal with getting home from work and having to clean up after a full destructive day of doggy boredom. I understand it is partly my fault but she needs to learn. I should of put my foot down when we got her. Secondly the house itself. I kow im not the only one who cares so its about time all three of us pitched in to keep it clean. i dont care how often we all work. It takes five minutes to empty/fill the dishwasher after dinner. It is time to talk to those who live with me, as they seem to be of the belief it is my fault the house is like this. I may be a woman doesn't mean they dont have to pitch in with the chores. I am just not happy with not being in control of all this. I feel like once i get in control of all of this it will be time to start on bigger and better things, like the front garden. All of it is just a matter of time.
Anyways off to bed
Pamela

a little bit of thought to add to the confusion.

Well the last couple of weeks have been shit. i just seem to be in this rut. hello from in my rut. I am just sad, i don;t know why. I had this crazy dream the other day about damien. it was mainly about life. like how one simple decision, made on a whim could completly change your whole life. like if, when i asked damien out all those years ago. he had of said yes, what would my life be like now? would it be different? would i have met gaz? would i still be at school? would i still be at maccas? would i still be with damien? see, bring up old questions is stupid. i have an awesome awesome awesome life. how come im the only one who can't see that. This police officer comes into work and talks to me every now and then. he makes more sense than anyone else at the moment. Life is just about making things simple. Just talking to him makes me smile. He is like 48 and married so dont get any ideas. he is just a breathe of fresh air in this tiring tiring world. There is nothing like a stranger to make you smile.

theres nothing like this numbness
its seeped into my bones.
i miss the times to feel
the times to love
the times to live
its all just happening around me
and im sitting in the stands
and im watching
im watching
my life pass by me,
i want to know whats going on

when the going Getz good.

Well a lot has happened since sarah left,im okay with it now. i have time off to go up there in november with damien. should be fun. i bought a new car today. its a 2005 hyundai getz. it is an absolute blast to drive. im in love with my car, got a feel for my automobile. lol. i dont know whether i posted it but i ave a dog now. awesome little thing, her name is chase. anyway yesterday she tried to eat my budgie cooper. dumb dog. she ever eats blue and shell be going to the pound. anyway, been a bit sick lately, gareth is off to murray street


chase

charlie

oh baby baby its a wild world. its hard to get by, just upon a smile girl...

well as all of you should know by now, i have a little sister called sarah . Sarah and i grew up together. She is 18 months younger than me and we were always known as the girls. she was my best friend the whole time we grew up and still is. anyway. she turned eighteen this year. Today she announced she is moving to kalgoorlie. Now i know its not the end of the world. but i am so scared for her. same as i guess she was scared when i moved out of home. So sarah, if youre reading this. know that even if i dont agree with what you are doing. know i love you. you are my baby sister and no matter what i am here for you, no matter how far away i am. There is no one i worry about more than you. Its a huge step moving so far away and you are still so young. It's going to be so hard not knowing youre just around the corner at mum and dads. good luck baby girl. Be so strong. i love you.
Pamela

some time away..

so i went away this weekend. took monday tuesday off work and went south with mumsy. was really good. we went to peppermint beach near capel and stayed in a massive house. Went and did all the local attractions. Just was relaxing and fun. It was good to spend some time with my Mum. She has an interview today for woolworths karrinyup. Go mum. Anyway... while i was gone...

jesus christ this house has mice. I am home alone and scared.. lol. big strong tom is coming over and we are going to kill them, also has roaches, real real nice. two of pams most favourite things. not.

Anyway, another thing while i was gone. Now everyone understand a bedroom is a private thing right, whether you share it with a partner or not? well my bedroom privacy was violated and i am rather pissed off about it. Maybe im just being stupid. But yeah. it would of been fine if it had of been pre arranged, but there were other places to sleep, we have a 200 dollar brand spanking new blow up mattress for goodness sake. there was no need for it and now im all angry for no reason.

alls i can say is men... think before you do, a womans room is a private thing.